Maybe I Can

Hello friends! I hope you’ve had an excellent holiday season. It’s hard to believe that 2024 is already over. In light of the new year and new reflections, I’ve been thinking a lot about my journey as an artist. When I was in school, I always wanted to be an artist. I envied my friends who could paint and draw more realistically than me. Even though I drew a lot in my free time, I thought “being an artist” was a gift or talent you were born with—not something you learned. So, I didn’t pursue my artistic interests. Because I couldn’t draw a horse after following those little guidebooks, I figured learning how to draw just wasn’t in the cards for me.

And yet, I spent hours on Microsoft Paint. I made all sorts of little creations, experimenting with the tools, figuring out how to shade and texture. MS Paint was my first digital medium. I tried my hand at Photoshop too, though I never quite caught the photography bug like some of my peers. (I did, however, save up all my money for a digital camera and fancied myself an artiste for a while.) Over the years, I dabbled in different mediums—acrylic, ceramic, watercolor, colored pencil. I mostly made pieces as a creative exercise, but never with the intention to display or sell them. After all, I wasn’t an artist. I couldn’t draw, or paint, or sculpt.

Then, during the pandemic, I realized I regretted not exploring my artistic side more. I wished I could go back and take more art classes, that I hadn’t written myself off so easily. So, I bought myself an iPad, downloaded Procreate, and started following tutorials on YouTube. That’s when it hit me: being an artist isn’t about inherent talent; it’s about practice and learning. I’ve mentioned this before, but I truly believe that no skill is 100% inherited. Anyone can learn anything. Given enough time, practice, and effort, we can truly become whoever we want to be. (Well, within reason—some things are genetically impossible.)

With this newfound growth mindset, I dove headfirst into exploring my artistic side. Maybe I could be an artist. Maybe the reason I couldn’t draw wasn’t that I wasn’t capable, but that I hadn’t practiced enough. I started sketching in notebooks, embracing the idea that the more hours I put in, the more I’d improve.

Eventually, I stumbled across Unreal Engine. At the time, I didn’t know how to code, but I discovered I could create little “scenes” within it. They weren’t great, but they brought me so much joy—crafting environments that had never existed before. It was my first real introduction to game development, albeit from the art side.

Looking back now, I’m amazed at how far I’ve come. I went from thinking I wasn’t capable of being an artist to realizing I’d been one all along, just in my own way. My skills have grown so much, and while there’s still a lot to learn, I’m proud of the progress I’ve made. Every piece I create, every hour I spend practicing, is proof that I’m continuing to learn and improve. And that’s something worth celebrating.

Here’s to another year of growth and creativity. Thanks for being part of the journey with me.